i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
