He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
