Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
