Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
