Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
