People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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