She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
