You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
