so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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