Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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