did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
