Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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