I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
