I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
one might say we're banned from that church
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
