i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
