So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
