Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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