Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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