Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
