found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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