Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
