I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
