Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize