She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dick very happy bro
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
