just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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