im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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