I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
