This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
