Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
