And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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