I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
