dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
