I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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