Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
