were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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