I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
