He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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