I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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