there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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