I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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