Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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