I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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