When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
