last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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