This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
