Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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