I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
