just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
