I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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