No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
