Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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