I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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