its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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