Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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