I cannot find my penis.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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