This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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