I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
